Accountability is a must

I have talked previously about the porn addiction that almost ruined my life.  You can read that blog here.  I have prayed for, been prayed over, declared, warred against the lust that I gave into daily.  I have since then made drastic steps in keeping pure.

I want to tell you three steps I take to stay spiritually healthy when it comes staying accountable:

1. I use X3 Watch which has a free program that I use.

2. I make note of what my triggers are and I recognize when they are present.  Triggers are what I call conditions and emotional status that leads to temptation (ie. tired, alone, angry)

3. I become painfully honest and transparent about my past and present with my wife and two other people I trust with my life.

I cannot express enough the freedom I have experienced in accountability.  When we hide our sins/issues in the dark, they fester and take hold of our lives.  Everything will eventually be exposed to the light.  We can either do this willingly (very tough) or by accident (extremely painful).

Youth ministry is hard enough, but doing it while hiding sin can be detrimental to everyone involved.  Get free and get accountable.  You will not regret it.

Waiter Syndrome

In youth ministry, it is really easy to fall into "waiter" syndrome.  You might have another name for it.  But it is when you read God's Word to have something to serve instead of your personal growth and relationship with God.

I know that I feel the pressure to have something for each Sunday.  I was talking to a great friend who is a pastor and he reminded me to make sure I am not becoming a waiter that grabs the Word and delivers it to youth and not nourish myself.  I may not be having that problem now, but it is something to guard myself and keep in check.

Sometimes, the most obvious things are the most overlooked.  If you are going through a dry season, make sure you aren't neglecting your own spiritual health.  If you don't have a friend that you can talk to about this stuff, make it a huge priority to find one or five.  These two things could be the difference of staying strong in youth ministry or burning out.

Camping, Canoeing, and Connecting

It is an awesome sight when 15 students are using flashlights to read the words so they can sing to God!  We had an amazing weekend connecting with God and each other.  We started off with this video two weeks before camping:

We really challenged students and leaders to take the media fast seriously, and it really paid off.  The fact is that only half of them did it.  That is still 5 more than I thought would.  God honored our focus from one thing to Him.  We had great devotionals (SOAP) and the discussions were very honest.  We canoed, kayaked, built fires, blazed trails, and really sought God.  One of the best times, and most exhausting, we have had this year.  Greater things yet to come!

What surprised you in your ministry this year?  What would you undo if you could?

The Christian Lingo

Great video just proves how alienating we can be, even though it is completely unintentional.

Stuff Christians Say from worshiphousemedia on GodTube.

What can you relate to?  I definitely laughed and was reminded that visitors could see us this way....not relevant.

Are your youth connected to your church? Part One

I love youth ministry, but I know that the goal of youth ministry is to support the vision of the church and pastor that I serve.  The question is, do your youth feel connected to the body of believers at your church?  Tim Schmoyer and Josh Robertson really tackle this issue in this video:

There is nothing more devastating to me than when a teen feels like if they stopped showing up, that no one would even notice.  I plan on talking about this at our small groups because we are talking about relationships and connecting to God.  I will comment on my findings next week.


Does this relate to you?  How do you handle this at your church?

Most important part of your ministry is....

This will be the shortest blog I have ever written.  What are the two most important parts of your ministry?

Your relationship with God.

Your relationship with your wife/family.

If you are struggling with either of these, which everyone does at some point, get help and talk about it.  Yes, that means share your feelings and hurts.  Make sure you have people that care about you outside of ministry that you can talk to openly and honestly.

You are not alone, even if you feel like you are.  If you have NO ONE to turn to: email me, check out SYMSoulCare or talk to a same-sex friend or your former youth/lead pastor.

You are called to a great work in ministry, but a greater priority in loving God and your wife/family.

Make Haste, Have Fun!

Youth ministry can be so very serious.  And eternity is nothing to laugh at, but life is to be enjoyed.  I love what these guys, in the video below, do during Hurricane Sandy.  Hurry up, have fun!  I would love to have students rush in and have fun considering we have so very little time with them.

In the midst of all things eternal, enjoy your students and let them enjoy their time with you.  Our relationship with God is so much fun, and I hope the students understand that.

Make it memorable!

Resources I Live By

Here are some resources that I couldn't imagine NOT having in student ministry:

• Dropbox - a web-based file hosting service that you can get up to 4GB for free
• Polleverywhere - it is the best way to create stylish real-time experiences using mobile devices
• Evernote - Capture anything and access it anywhere and share it with anyone.  Seriously awesome!
• Planning Center - Plan everything and have everyone on the same page.  

All of these are free!  I couldn't do youth ministry without them.

What resources do you lean on?

Blocking Distractions

It is hard enough to hook and maintain students' attention already, but now it can be near impossible with phone, web, and text always in hand.  Here is some ways we fight and incorporate this distraction in ministry.

1. Small group leaders collect all phones (including their own) and put them in a Cell Block until the we have finished.  This demonstrates that I, as a leader, care about you; and you, as a student, should respect others' time.
2. In large group settings, we actually help them use it and get it out of their system.  We will use something like polleverywhere.com and you ask a question and get real-time responses as they text in their answer.  After the poll, it is an easy transition to have everyone put the phone away.
3. We use Zone Coverage in large group settings.  This means I have a leader or volunteer spread out in the seating area (no leader sits within ten feet of one another).  This helps students connect to leaders as they interact during the service and helps police distractions in a subtle way.
4. We tell core students to help by being the example and enforce our rules to their friends, but not strangers.  We prefer new comers to feel welcomed, not oppressed by their fellow students,

What are some ways you prevent distractions in your ministry?

Reading List

What books are you reading and living out?  Besides the Bible here are books that are shaping and growing my life:

Circle Maker by Mark Batterson
Crazy Love by Francis Chan
When Heaven Invades Earth by Bill Johnson
Soul Detox by Craig Groeschel
Lead Small by Reggie Joiner

Fantastic books for me and while I am in the middle of two of these, I strongly suggest these resources.  Game changers for me.

My team of volunteers are challenged with this: "Leaders are readers."  Simple, but true.  Whether book or Kindle, don't forget your own spiritual growth.

What are you reading?  What should I be reading?

Thank you, youth ministers

Here is a video for all of you youth workers!  You make such a huge difference.  Watch, be encouraged, be inspired.  The best is yet to come.

Thanks Youth Specialties for this great video.

Messiness of ministry

There isn't a week that goes by that a student "blows it" and feels like they can't show their face for awhile.  A key student stops coming or a teen becomes a teen mom.  Your ministry is dependent on two things: God and people.  One is perfect and the other is definitely not.

How you respond to the imperfect students will speak volumes compared to your messages.  Jesus spoke on many occasions, but was remembered for few sermons and more messy disciples.  You are calling the broken and hurt to follow Christ.  Some may walk away (I pray against that everyday) and others may run.  

If it wasn't for a great friend (and youth pastor) to be there when I hit rock bottom, I would not be in ministry today.  In all the hustle and bustle of ministry, don't forget that Jesus hung out with many, but poured into 12. Even one of those didn't work out. 

Do for a few, what you wish you could do for all.  Discipleship is messy, but isn't it worth it?  

Teaching out of the box

This is my second year of leading a youth ministry.  While there are thousands of things I have learned in the past year, I have had to look at how I communicate my messages in two different settings.  We have services and life groups (cell, small, discipleship...you get the idea).  I have loved trying to discover what style works best for me and my students.  Everyone will have to find their own, but I want to encourage you that there is not just one way.

One of my best friends is completely anti-curriculum, and another buddy of mine is fully reliant on curriculum.  Neither are wrong, but it could be wrong for you and your students.  I tend to go both ways.  I plan six months out if possible so sometimes I write my own and others I adapt curriculum to our crowd.

Currently, we are doing a Zombie theme for the month of October and we grabbed the inspiration of the theme from someone else (thanks Josh Griffin) but completely wrote the content ourselves.  Our service went great as we keyed in on "The One Thing".  Zombies love one thing and will not stop until they get it.  The idea is explaining what the one thing students need (Jesus) compared to other things they make number one in their life.  

This Sunday is our discipleship group is focusing on a Zombie like hunger, but not for brains.  The main idea is that we sometimes starve ourselves spiritually but our we need bread and meat (exodus 16, matthew 5:6). I can't wait to see what God is going to do!

So, don't feel bad if you lean one way or another when it comes to curriculum.  If you think about it, the Bible is curriculum and we all use that!  Think outside the box when teaching, and if you run out of ideas, use others' ideas.

Which way do you lean?  Where do you get most of your subject matter?

The Dreaded Comfort Zone

I think every couple of months or so I look back to see what I have done in ministry.  I have started to not only look back but really challenge myself on how I do ministry.  We are doing a series on evangelism and have partnered with the LifeBook movement to empower and enable students, that normally don't talk about their faith, to start conversations with their classmates.  I can't express how much I love LifeBooks.  They are free, interesting to teens, and inspire churches to work together.  Their only goal is to saturate schools with the Word of God.  And they are free, did I mention that?

The way we do our ministry is first Sunday of every month is our EPIC service, and the other three Sundays are small groups and/or events.  We introduced the idea at our service, prepped them during small groups and even talk about it at the events.  There are 4 videos to help train and they are only five minutes long.

Here is the thing, I CANNOT challenge students to do something out of their comfort level without leading the way out of my own.  I sat down with our youth ministry team and challenged them to give out five LifeBooks at their jobs or in their personal time.  I wanted them to share their stories.  God gave us all a charge to evangelize and even though I do that as a youth ministry director, I needed to do that in my life.  I am going to be honest.  It wasn't easy.  I was rejected, high-fived, thanked, and cussed out in three days time.  It was great!  Awesome experience.  I plan to do more to get uncomfortable.

What are you planning to do?  What are some experiences you would like to share?

Roller coasters - The good and the bad

Our youth ministry (EPIC) went to Rock the Universe at Universal Studios in Orlando, FL.  We had an awesome time, but I learned a lot at this event.  I love roller coasters, but I really don't like roller coaster teenage drama.  

Jim Gaffigan jokes that if you ever want to spend a lot of money to sweat, get tired, hear your kids whine, and stand in lines all day...then go to Disney.  It certainly was not that bad.  I was actually really surprised how unifying the event was overall for our students.

We drove 8 hours, checked into a hotel, headed to Universal.  I was tired by hour 3 of driving.  Here is how I not only survived but thrived.

• It is not about the rides, but the relationships with teens.  Make it more about them.
• Play ridiculous road games or make some up.  We had a blast and it started the trip off right.
• Pray...a lot.  Together, alone, in your sleep.  Just pray.
• Enjoy the music even if you don't care for the artist.  The fact that teens are listening to God's message is awesome.
• Someone will complain, or get sick, or both.  That's okay, they will get over it.  Hopefully.  Just point out the positive and distract them with a free drink.  Pray with them.
• You will want to go home before they do.  I believe they call it .... sacrifice. 
• Have meals together and talk about their favorite experiences or their worst.  Both can be fun, right?
• Lastly, be the example to follow in word, conduct, faith and screaming on roller coasters.

1 Thess 5:14 CEV  "My friends, we beg you to warn anyone who isn't living right.  Encourage anyone who feels left out, help all who are weak, and be patient with everyone."  

Clearly, Paul took teens to amusement parks.  I wonder what his favorite roller coaster was?  How do you survive and thrive on these types of events?

This book changed how I communicate!

There are a lot of books I have read and have been game changers for me.  But this one completely transformed how I speak.  This is an extremely easy read and the principles are just fantastic and practical.  I would give you a teaser on this book but do you even need one?  Who doesn't want to communicate more effectively?

What book is a must for you?  If I was your volunteer in youth ministry, what book would you hand me?

When Only One Shows Up

It can be really tough and discouraging in youth ministry when only one or two students show up.  It doesn't matter if it is a service, discipleship class, or a fun event.  It is not only hard on you, the leader, but also on the students.  The fact is you are there for the one, not the masses.

Here are a some things to keep in mind:

• Students feel weird when they are the only ones there.  Make that moment about building a relationship with that student.
• If you planned a lot of teaching, feel free to scrap it.  Yep, scrap it.  Help the student feel comfortable.  Play a video game, watch a movie, or (if the parent is okay with it) grab some ice cream.
• Whatever you do....don't cancel!  Cancelling expresses that you don't care to invest your time unless there are lots of listeners.

Though it may be hard on your feelings, it can be great for your ministry and your relationship with the individual.

How have you handled the discouragement?  What have you done when only one shows up?

The True Challenge

Youth ministry will challenge you spiritually, emotionally, and definitely financially. I have found when I make a challenge to the students, I have to make sure that I have challenged myself on the same subject.  We are heading into a season of focusing on evangelism.  I am so excited to see God use students that have never shared the gospel to their friends.  

I realized that I needed to make sure that my heart and my team's hearts are evangelistic.  Is this internalized or just a felt need for our ministry?  I refuse to do something based purely on need.  I must have vision, faith and compassion for evangelism.  How am I reaching my friends and others around me?

Don't settle for ministry of needs but ask for a heart to preach from conviction and compassion.  Ask your accountability partner or members of your ministry team if you are preaching from a place of "have to" or "want to". 

Youth ministry will still challenge you greatly, but I want to be effective and full of faith, not defective and full of crap.  Minister from the heart!

Are you chasing away your visitors?

I wouldn't suggest tying up new kids to keep them because it only works once.  You will never see them again.  There are some other quick ways to lose teens from making your youth ministry home, but let's focus on how to keep them coming.

• Is your ministry geared for teens at different places of faith?  Pretty simple, but simply forgotten.  You have crowd kids (outsiders who show up to events or the bf/gf made them come), congregation kids (the regulars who don't participate), and the core kids (we all love those).  Does your ministry/message speak to them all?
• Are your volunteers/staff interested in teens or just each other?  We are adapting zone coverage for youth ministry services.  This means that a leader/volunteer will be in their own section and will develop friendships with teens.  This also means that my team won't be distracted by one another and each student will get quality time with a person that loves them.
• Are you being intentional?  Sanga Samways from Hillsong Church taught two things that I won't forget.  One, give new students something for visiting when they come in (it shows them we appreciate them, and depending on what you give out, it marks them as a visitor to core students and volunteers). Second, involvement equals connection.  If you can get visitors involved in a team game, it will enable them to meet core students and bam! you have connection.
• Are you reaching out to your teens' friends?  Worlds colliding is real.  Students have neighborhood friends, school friends, church friends and social media friends.  How are you evangelizing?  How are you helping your students reach their friends?  We found lifebooks recently and are really excited at the possibilities.  

What advice would you give to make visitors become regulars?  

Fundraiser Ideas

Fundraising!  I actually feel like it is a curse word in youth ministry.  In the life of youth ministry, you usually have low or no budget.  But to ease the pain, here are some fun ideas I have been a part of!

Video game tournament - Choose the game and have students bring their Xbox or PS3 or Wii and compete.  Your local video game vendor may want to be a part of this and that means great publicity to your target audience.  Fundraising and outreach into one.  Have prizes, food, and drinks.  Maybe a game area where it isn't competitive, but just for fun.

BBQ lunch and picnic - You need great pricing for food cost and coordinating effort, but it lasts for only a couple of hours. I suggest catering if possible.  Have family friendly games and encourage others at the church to a dessert championship.  Anything to draw people.

And my favorite....Flamingo Flocking - People will pay you to flock someone's yard or for insurance to not be flocked.  Here is a video we did as promo:

What are some ideas that have worked for you?  What hasn't?  Do you have a bread winner to share with YM nation?